The first thing that popped into my mind when I thought about whether love is enough in any relationship is…yeah…the lyrics to a song.

Patty Smyth and Don Henley did this amazing song many years ago (check when) called “Sometimes Love Just Ain’t Enough”

Now I don’t want to lose you

But I don’t want to use you

Just to have somebody by my side

And I don’t want to hate you

I don’t want to take you

But I don’t want to be the one to cry

And that don’t really matter

To anyone anymore

But like a fool I keep losing my place

And I keep seeing you walk through that door

CHORUS

But there’s a danger in loving somebody too much

And it’s sad when you know

It’s your heart you can’t trust

There’s a reason why people don’t stay where they are

Baby sometimes love just ain’t enough

Now I could never change you

And I don’t want to blame you

Baby you don’t have to take the fall

Yes I may have hurt you

But I did not desert you

Maybe I just want to have it all

It makes a sound like thunder

It makes me feel like rain

And like a fool who will never see the truth

I keep thinking something’s gonna change

CHORUS

And there’s not way home

When it’s late at night and you’re all alone

Are the things that you wanted to say

And do you feel me beside you in your bed

There beside you where I used to lay

And there’s a danger in loving somebody too much

And it’s sad then you know it’s your heart they can’t touch

Theres a reason why people don’t staere who they are

Baby sometimes love just ain’t enough

So I guess since the first time I heard this song on the old Radio Port Natal station I always believed that was the truth. And I still do. Love isn’t enough. No matter how much you think it may be. And why do I say that? Well I love my son. I love him very very much. I carried him, I birthed him, I sat with him in hospital, I stayed home with him. But I do not believe I am the best mother I could be. My husband is his main, if not SOLE, caregiver. I don’t change him, I don’t feed him. I may bath him, give him the odd bottle, give some hugs and kisses but I do not care for him the way a mother should. But I don’t want to talk about my lack of natural parenting skills now.

My husband seems to think my love for him is enough to sustain our relationship and I do not believe that. I add nothing to his life. In fact I take away from it. I believe his life would be better without me and without my daughter. I believe he would have fewer troubles, better quality of life and maybe even the possibility of finding a better wife.

Now you may think, well why does she not just change? Because I don’t want to. Because I blindly believe I should not have to change who I am. Because I am stubborn and I don’t believe I am wrong. And because I still blindly believed in fairytale love like in the movies, where they lived happily ever after. And then reality hit me like a freight train and I have never been the same since then…