I don't want to talk about it....

I am a bit stuck on Everything but the Girl lately after hearing this old song of their's on VH1 the other day. I remember this song from my childhood but never realised it was Everything but the Girl, who only became popular to me in 1996 when Missing was released LOL

I don't want to talk about it

I can tell by your eyes
That you've prob'bly been cryin' forever,
And the stars in the sky don't mean nothin' to you
They're a mirror.

I don't want to talk about it
How you broke my heart.
If I stay here just a little bit longer,
If I stay here, won't you listen to my heart?

If I stand all alone
Will the shadow hide the color of my heart
Blue for the tears, black for the night's fears

And the stars in the sky don't mean nothin' to you
They're a mirror

I don't want to talk about it, how you broke my heart
If I stay here just a little bit longer
If I stay here, won't you listen to my heart?
This ol' heart.

If I stay here just a little bit longer,
If I stay here, won't you listen to my heart?
My heart, whoa, heart.

I don't know..

I don't know how much more I can take.

I need out...
I need to cry but I can't.
I need to scream but I can't.
I need to love but ...
I need to forgive...
I need to move on...

I have nobody to talk to, so I talk to a stupid blog that nobody reads. How is a blog going to help me.

I feel so desperately alone..just cry goddammit...cry...scream...swear...anything...

But I just get up and move on, pretend, act...and it's wearing painfully thin

I can't do it anymore...I have had enough

Noooo not again

Fuck fuck fuck.
My baby is gone. Another one in four months
My beautiful, most loving, gorgeous Maestro. I am so sorry. I feel so guilty. I will miss you forever, you kisses, your weight as you sleep on top of me.

Why you?

Maestro was this skinny little runt we rescued from Kitten action. He was an ill baby and we could only take him home a week after adoption as he was on antibiotics. He grew into a beautiful, most loving cat. He gave me kisses, slept next to me most nights, waited on the staircase for me to give him a love and followed me almost everywhere.

We went away and the last time the neighbours saw him was the day before we got home. A neighbour from down the road said today he saw him (well he thinks it was him) on the road Saturday night...

My baby is gone and my heart is shattered.

I love you forever my boy...