Christmas

I hate it. I really do. Honestly. Blech. Puke. Argh

Nuff said.

Friendships

I got this phonecall from an old 'friend' today. Man it left me fuming! And it got me thinking about how we change and our friendships change with time.

This friend introduced my husband and I to each other. I had already had Miss V from a previous relationship so we almost became like an instant family. Soon the problems started, especially with his friends who didn't have time for us anymore. They just couldn't understand that we could not go out anymore at the drop of a hat because of Miss V. And on the odd occasion we had a night off suddenly they would all have excuses. I guess one can't expect a non parent to understand the life of a parent. But it hurt and it was upsetting. So with time we started drifting apart with only the odd invitation for my husband to join them for a poker night.

So recently one of the friends got married. And hubby didn't go to the bachelors as it was a whole weekend away from home. And no matter how much he tried to explain they weren't interested in hearing it. The groom to be basically had a very rude conversation with my husband after the fact, commenting on how 'some friends couldn't be bothered' to be at his bachelors. Again my husband tried to explain the whole thing about kids and family and not WANTING to go away with the boys for a whole weekend. He still didn't get it. The phonecall left a bitter taste in our mouths. We ran into the groom to be a week before the wedding and the conversation was stifled and curt.

We made the decision not to attend the wedding. And yes, here my husband was in the wrong. He didn't bother to let them know we weren't coming. So then phone call came today from the friend (not groom), to innocently ask me if we're ok as they thought something had happened to us. He of course tries to blame us but the blame lies both sides. We're never available for them, they're never available for us. Let's cut our losses I say. But nooooo, I had to get a speech first for not being there blah blah blah.

I am so tired of all this. I miss this friend dearly (the one who introduced us) but I am just as tired of the excuses and stories. And nobody is willing to understand that our free time is precious and does not come along all that often. So who is in the wrong here? No matter how much we try explain they don't get it! I said to him that it's not just a case of needing a babysitter or whatever but my husband spends hardly any time with me during the week because of busy schedules so he would much rather go out with friends and include me in the party than go play poker just with the boys. And because our time away from the kids is so limited could they not try understand a bit more and play along than just get angry when we can't fall in with their plans?

In my opinion I have now cut the losses. Farewell friend and thanks for the introduction to Carl. Best thing you ever did.

Stevie's coming home!!!

I am so so so excited! One of my bestest friends is coming back from the UK for a visit and I'm finally get to spend a whole entire full complete evening with him catching up! It's been a year since he was last home and we never go to see each other because of all his family plans.

Stevie, I am sooo looking forward to having a good fat chat again!!

xxx

Hugs & prayers

I can't believe a year has passed. A year ago today a beautiful little boy became an angel. Tammy and Eric my heart still bleeds for you. Know that you are very loved and have many people who care for you. I am so sorry for the pain you have to suffer. You are in my thoughts all the time.

And a year ago another two angels joined, Ashlee and hubby, my heart aches for you too. I can never begin to understand what you go through every day. I think about you constantly.

Hooray for boobies

Finally, at the age of 30, I have a cleavage!!! WHOOP WHOOP!! Ok Ok this isn't me in the pic haha

I wasn't even IN the line for getting boobies when adolescence hit. The only time they looked half decent was when I was pregnant. But two pregnancies later they looked even worse. So it was time to take drastic action and finally the opportunity arose for me to have breast augmentation.

I had been doing research on it for quite some time and researched some doctors. The initial surgeon I really liked unfortunately never answered the phone when I finally wanted to make that appointment. I went with the surgeon that also did my colleagues boobs and incidentally found out later he also did surgery on my dad's legs. So anyway, at least he was known and on the association's website so I felt comfortable.

The first consult was easy peasy. He told me I was a perfect candidate. "No kidding dude" I thought. He very nicely explained the whole procedure to me, told me how much it would cost *gulp* and said, "ok when would you like to have it done? I am available tomorrow?". I learnt that this doctor also had a wicked sense of humour which really helps when you're a bit nervous.

So we decided on 12th November 08. All the finances sorted, leave organised, all I had to do was wait. 2 Weeks had never felt this long in my life. Not even waiting for my child to be born! But finally the day arrived and off we went to hospital. We did all the usual questionnaires, checks etc. Doc came to draw pretty little lines over my boobies and the weirdo cool aneathetist came to say hi. I got given to tablets, Dormicum, to 'calm' me. Whoah baby, I passed out mid sentence and gave my husband the biggest fright of his life!

When they came to wheel me down I had to wee but was so drugged I wasn't allowed to go to the toilet, so I had to use a commode. Whahaha what an experience! So anyway we get going down to theatre and hubby was allowed to come along for a walk up to the entrance. Doc came passed with my boobs in a box, proudly displaying his shopping bag as he walks passed.

I got wheeled down this loooooong corridor and into theatre, where quickly they put the monitors on me and strapped my arms down. The aneathetist found the vein and I felt this immense ache running up my arm. The thought of "Fuck that's sore" started forming in my head and on my mouth, but I was gone!

I woke up extremely groggy and really don't remember much. I was in quite a bit of pain but they kept that at bay with painmeds. I really struggled to breathe because of the tight bandages so they gave me a nasal oxygen tube. That helped a bit. The worst was not being able to move at all. No sitting up nothing! I was like this for 24 hours and I am happy I don't remember all that much of it. I got more of the good drugs to sleep which at least knocked me out for 8 hours solid.

The next day they came to cut the bandages and remove the drains and after a while I was finally ready to go home. It's been 3 weeks now and so far so good. They are still sensitive but getting better every day. A few more months and I am doing the biggest bra shop ever in my life! I am not allowed to wear underwires yet so sports bras etc will have to do. But it's lovely to finally have something there. To feel feminine and able to by clothes that FIT! Worth every single cent, for sure!!

My thoughts on parenting

I don’t see myself as a mommy know-it-all but I find myself not really reading forums based on parenting questions/abilities and experiences. I don’t often ask questions. I don’t post brag posts. I don’t even comment much. Because my idea of parenting is so vastly different from other mom’s I’ve met. And that is exactly why I say I’m not a know-it-all because it’s not like I am quick to offer advice either. I guess I have an ‘each to its own’ approach. Sometimes though I don’t know if this is normal and so, I asked my husband the other day “What is wrong with me?” He laughed! But he said to me, “Love, you are who you are, and you’re a perfectly good mom!” Bless him hahaha!

I don’t know all the answers to everything. I have two kids - 3y7m old daughter and a 14month old son. And for some reason even though I don’t have the answers to everything about them I don’t ask for advice…

Is this because

a) I think nobody knows better than me? NO

b) I might hear something I don’t want to hear? NO

c) I don’t care enough? NO

d) Or maybe, just maybe, I am so relaxed about parenting I won’t allow myself to become paranoid and ask for 100s of different opinions. Hearing so many different opinions from people can cause great confusion you know and some people can be very adamant that their reasoning is the only correct one.

Sometimes though, I wish I was like so many other mommies I know. They are SO into their kids and talk about them all the time. They brag about every toofie that breaks through, the first step, the first everything. They can’t wait to go home after work to spend time with their kids and try out a new recipe for them. They can talk for hours about what they did with their kids over the weekends. Their kids consume their lives. Is that necessarily a bad thing? No, I don’t think so, but I still love my independence from my children, I love still feeling that I am my own person. I am me, a wife, a lover, a friend, an employee. Not JUST a mommy.

Don’t get me wrong I love my kids and their milestones are so important to me, but for some reason I didn’t even tell people when my son started walking properly on his own, never mind when his teeth came out. And I normally can’t wait to get home after a hectic day in the office, but not to jump straight into my parenting duties, no! I want to sit down and put my feet up, have a glass of wine with my husband…relax! Weekends I can’t wait for the odd night when the babysitter would come and my husband and I can have a night out.

Does this make me a bad mother? No I don’t think so. Not at all! I can tell you something, my kids have everything they need. I love them very much and do my best for them. They are happy, well loved and well looked after kids. And they are very independent. My daughter hardly suffered separation anxiety EVER, and my son doesn’t really show signs of it. They know they are loved, but they know Mom and Dad don’t give up their entire lives for them.

I know many of you won’t agree with my way of parenting but it has worked a charm for us. Let me share something else it has done for my kids…when my daughter was very young I would not run to her room when I woke in the morning. If she cried for her morning bottle I would give it to her (when she was old enough to drink on her own) and leave her there. Often she would fall asleep again afterwards anyway, so I would crawl back into bed for a bit. She learnt through this to play on her own until we came through to her. My son is doing the same thing. Only difference is he has an older sister who will now go sit in his room with him and ‘read’ to him, sing to him or just hand him some toys while he is in his cot. And mom and dad get’s another hour’s sleep. Pure bliss.

Do I sound evil yet? Wait till I tell you about my bedtime techniques. Bedtime has always been strictly adhered to. No, I didn’t leave my kids to cry for hours on end, but with a firm voice they very quickly learnt that once they’ve been put in bed, there they will stay. And now, both of them go to bed 99% of the time without a single moan and groan. No running into the room with the slightest moan and being picked up. It doesn’t work for us. A child learns to manipulate from a very young age and frankly I believe a baby CAN be spoilt. Again, do not get me wrong, if you want to spoil your baby there is nothing wrong with it. If you want to hold your baby until she falls asleep, there is nothing wrong with it. You find the parenting techniques that work for you and make you comfortable. Not being a ‘soppy mommy’ works for me…and my kids!

I must admit my hubby is a little soppier than me though! When the little man doesn’t want to eat, he freaks out. “Why isn’t he eating? What else can I give him? Maybe he is unwell? Can we try making some other food?” Hah! Normally he is met by my response which is more often than not “If he doesn’t want to eat, take him to bed!” Evil, right? You may think so, but I will not make 5 different plates of food until the little bugger decided to eat something! He has to learn from a young age how things are going to be. Again, I don’t just dump a horrid meal in front of him, he gets a selection of finger foods, different flavours, textures, colours…all things he normally would enjoy…but I will not lose any sleep over him not wanting to eat.

My hopes for my children are to grow up independent and strong. To not feel that they can’t do anything unless mommy or daddy is holding their hand, and at the same time know that I love them with everything in me.

O gosh!

Has it been that long already. I have been terrible. Almost three full months and no blogging. I disgust me. A lot happens in 3 months I suppose. Just trying to break them up into themes and get writing again for a change!
Thing is half the time I don't know WHAT to write, I hit a blank. And I hate writing crap. Oh well. I'll try harder.

PS The pic I chose today is the fabric of my newest fabbest handbag, isn't it so yummy? LOL